because…

I’m going to take a break from

I’ve been facebook free for 6 days, shocking right? Although I have no idea what my old highschool teacher is doing this weekend, or what someone I met once when she passed through Glasgow is eating for dinner tonight.

I came to the realisation last week that facebook is kinda making me miserable. Every time I check it I get to see all these great things everyone else is doing. That’s where the comparison element comes in. Every time I open it up I am reminded of that one friend who still hasn’t replied to my e-mail, and I feel hurt all over again by the friend who hasn’t kept in touch. I get to see all the cute pictures of all the happy people experiencing amazing things in their cute clothes in their amazing lives, etc. etc. etc.  Now I’ll be the first to admit I have the emotional maturity of a 12 year old girl, so this kind of stuff probably wouldn’t phase a normal person. But for me it was definitely time to take a break.

I’ve been trying to make some healthier choices these days, physically and emotionally. I’m eating better, trying to get more rest, the usual stuff. I’m also trying to find a healthy way to grieve Glasgow. I don’t think I’ll be able to properly let go and grieve if I’m hearing about it everyday. It keeps the little details a little too fresh. Now I know full well that pretending it doesn’t exist isn’t healthy either. What I tell my kids is true for me too, Glasgow will always be apart of us. It made a huge contribution to who I am today. But I need to stop focusing on all that I’m missing there, and enjoy what I have HERE. So last Saturday, instead of starting my day by checking facebook for all the latest news, and then thinking about it for awhile, and then checking it again, and thinking some more…. I decided to simply enjoy the day. To enjoy the sunshine, plant some flowers, do some weeding, enjoy the neighborhood kids stopping in, and Olivia’s first soccer game. I decided to be present, and it made a big difference.

Unfortunately facebook isn’t the only fuel for the comparisons I make, but I do feel like I’ve made a right choice. I need to fight for joy, to be present. To stop comparing and focusing on what I don’t have, who I’m not, or where I’m not.

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3 thoughts on “because…

  1. Now I am not sure I should reply, in case that upsets you 😉 Hey, we all feel like that sometimes, and whatever works for you, do it. Being present is definitely the best or at least it works for me!
    About FB… I think House might be right – “everybody lies” – and it can be a bit of a show off. But please don’t disappear because I love seeing the green dot near your name and dropping you a line. And you are a part of me too. Have a lovely weekend. xxx

  2. I feel the same way about facebook, totally. I’ve deleted my account for the moment actually :\ Getting rid of it (or at least checking it far far less) is an excellent thing! But I agree with Ilaria – keep in touch still 🙂

  3. Pingback: hello monday « a little bit of this and that

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