stella-isms

Stella is #3 in our line-up.

You might be concerned that as the second girl, and one of our ‘middle children’, she might get a bit lost in the mix. That she might be overshadowed by her very sociable, lovable older sister, or a bit deprived of attention because of the focus being on her sweet and sensitive older brother.

FEAR NOT.

There is nothing overshadowing Stella in our house. In fact, if she had it her way, she’d be running the show. We’d probably all have a uniform of fluffy skirts, eat chocolate chips for every meal, and follow her every whim….

Stella is a girl of extremes. She is my most loving child and my most defiant child. She is a complex little girl, and I am working very hard to understand her.

I recently checked out a copy of “The Strong Willed Child” from our local library. I thought I would skim through it first, before I purchase it. I’m only on chapter two, and already I think it’s going to be a good thing. Now that Miles is a bit older {and sleeping through the night, amen}, I’ve been able to turn more of my focus to little miss fireball. In my season of simply surviving day to day, she developed some habits, habits that need some shall we say attention. I was out of ideas and had a conversation with a friend about her strong-willed sweetie {what is it about those third children??}, and she recommended the book. I’m hoping {and need to do more praying!} that having a tool will get me out of my rut with said fireball, and move forward with her. Helping her to ‘use her powers for good”!

Since she has such a big personality, Stella has come up with some pretty hilarious observations and comments on life. I thought I’d share a few of the more recent gems.

“I wish I had a pocket {like a kangaroo}, then I could put my toys in it”

{said while running out to ride her bike} “I’d better put my helmet on, so I don’t lose my brain like mommy”

“That’s hideous” {said about anything she doesn’t like}

{while on our way home from her getting stitches, and a few weeks after my Dad had a heart attack} “… good thing it wasn’t a heart attack” {said slightly hysterically}

“This dinner is lame.”

{upon seeing that we were having pasta for dinner, this did not go over well}

“I’m going to rip it up in a million tiny pieces!!”

{in reference to a pink piece of paper she was trying to write a note on when she was told she had to go home}

She keeps me on my toes that’s for sure. Unfortunately some of the most funny things she says, are said when she’s really mad, and I have to try really hard not to laugh.

A few months ago I wrote about my struggle to adapt to Stella being gone at school. It seems like such a normal thing now, and she loves it.  We’ve only had one day where she really didn’t want to go to school…. which may have involved some help from the bus driver and a call from the Principal once she got to school. Overall school has been such a good thing. I keep expecting to get a phone call from her teacher, Stella’s very vocal about her opinions and I keep waiting for it to get her into trouble! Apparently she saves all of that for me, *sigh*.

In a lot of ways Stella is my favourite {gasp, I know we’re not supposed to have favourites!!}, maybe it’s because she’s my most challenging, and I love a challenge. {I wonder where she gets it from…} But seriously, each of my children are in some way my favourite. Each one is such an individual, such a unique GIFT. I only hope I’m not screwing them up too badly. I want Stella to express all of that emotion she feels, not keep it bottled up inside, it’s part of what makes her such an incredible little person. But man, it’s such a challenge to teach her to do that AND be respectful and a joy to be around.

I love you Stella, my strong & beautiful & sweet fireball.

it’s quiet

My goodness it’s quiet around here today.

The big kids are at school {which I’m still getting used to}, Stella is at her first full day of Kindergarten, & Miles is sleeping. I’m trying to enjoy it. I watched TV during the day {gasp!}, tidied up {and 30 minutes later it’s still tidy!}, painted a chair {without a little person trying to help}, ate breakfast {all by myself}. All of these things would normally delight me, but I’m feeling kind of…. lost I guess. I keep thinking about Stella eating lunch on her own at school.

Change stresses me out. Not a big surprise right? This is the case for most people I think. The problem is that this life of mine, it’s always changing. A week ago, a month ago, 6 months ago, a year ago – all very different from today. And tomorrow will be too.

Life goes on. People change, they move away, babies grow up, start walking and talking. Cars break down, house are sold, summer ends.

I wish I was one of those people that finds all this change exciting. I’m simply not. It scares me, I feel left behind, forgotten, small.

The thing is I am small, but not forgotten.

I just wish everything didn’t scare me so much. I want to make friends, be involved at school, do a bible study, heck, why don’t I just go crazy and sign up for a half-marathon too? {incidentally I have in fact gone crazy and signed up for said half-marathon} These things paralyze me with fear. I’m 34 years old for crying out loud. Isn’t it time to just get it? {ps. anybody know what ‘it’ actually is?}

I really don’t have any answers, or a tidy conclusion to these thoughts.

I miss my life in Glasgow, or at least the picture I have of it in my head. That snapshot of happiness. I miss Stella with a fierceness that only she can bring out. I’m used to the idea of the big kids being at school all day, I’ve had a few years to do that. But this whole Stella-gone-all-day-at-school-thing, it’s going to take me some time.

I may have to homeschool Miles.

I think I hear the baby stirring {yay!}, I need to think of an errand to run so I can escape this for a little while, and an iced coffee can’t hurt.

How about you, do you like change? Does it excite you, or terrify you?

jx